Exiting Elgin

It feels like not that long ago I wrote a blog post about 'Entering Elgin'...which really wasn't that long ago because I took forever to write it upon moving to Elgin. Yet somehow despite feeling like I just moved, I find myself reflecting upon the past two years living in Elgin, Illinois.

What was originally going to be one year living in Illinois, doing a year of Brethren Volunteer Service in the Church of the Brethren FaithX office, rapidly turned into two years! I had only been living in Elgin for about 4 months before I accepted a second year volunteering out of Elgin, Illinois in the Youth and Youth Adult office as the National Youth Conference Coordinator. And as I think back on the past two years, I find myself filled with a lot of different emotions.

As I sit here and look back at the two years, I feel like I am at the end of a TV episode where a character is no longer going to be on the show. And in the last few moments of that episode there is a montage of the most memorable, funny, and heartfelt moments of their time on the TV show. I am looking back at my time in Elgin, remembering little snippets of joy, sadness, excitement, and hardship.

I see...

...the first time I opened the door to the BVS house, tired, excited, and ready for what the year would hold.

...myself sitting on the floor on my bedroom crying a month after getting to Elgin because I missed home, I felt lonely, and the cold and dark winters were hard to get through (it was only September and it only got colder and darker haha!). But I also see the work I put in to find a therapist and the work I put in to grow as a person the past two years.

...myself sitting in the back porch of the BVS house, eating dinner and watching planes on the approach path to O'Hare.

...the first time I took the train to downtown Chicago, and how proud I was that I got to downtown, walked around, and made it back to Elgin...all on my own. And then got to impress my family doing it all over again at Christmas

...all the times I spent an evening or whole day with my host family. Eating copious amounts of soup, playing endless games of Sequence, and passing jokes back and forth with my "extra" parents, brothers, and grandpa.

...January 18th, the day I went to the doctor for the first time for the mass I found on my thyroid. But I also see every day after that where coworkers and church family would accompany me to doctors appointments and share little notes of encouragement.

...all the walks I would take around the neighborhood, enjoying living in a place with sidewalks, friendly neighbors, and lots of free little libraries.

...the first time I went to the farmers market in Elgin, and discovered my favorite vegan baker, favorite sourdough stand, and found out that someone else has figured out how to make delicious vegan cheesecake.

...the inside of the O'Hare airport in great detail. Terminal 1 where I spent most of my time waiting for flights, the tail of the O'Hare dinosaur as I wait in line for security, the front of the dinosaur that I would send to my mom every time I flew so she would know I made it through security, and the United baggage claim where I would always meet my host family when they picked me up at the airport.

...Highland Ave CoB the first time I walked in, and the last time I walked out. Oddly enough filled with a lot of the same feelings each time. I also see the pew I would sit in with my host family each Sunday.

...myself packing each time I traveled with every suitcase I own laying out, clothes in random piles, and my mom on speaker phone halfway across the room because I still don't feel confident I have remembered everything unless my mom says I have everything I need.

...the last time I closed the door to the BVS house, the past two years packed into a car. Full of memories from my time in Elgin, and anticipation for what is yet to come.

It's funny,

even the tough memories from the past years have turned into fond memories. Each one is part of the journey I have had in Elgin, and a part of the reason why it was so hard to decide if I wanted to continue living in Elgin or if moving back to Pennsylvania was the right choice.

And just like at the end of a TV episode where a character leaves the show, I find myself looking back with equal parts joy and sadness on the past two years. My time in Elgin was filled with so much joy, that it means there is a reason to feel sad about leaving, even while filled with so much anticipation about what my move to Pennsylvania will bring.

So if you see me in the next few months, I will likely share something I loved about Elgin, and then quickly tear up as I recognize the joy it brought me.